Humour

"An eye for an eye. We are all blind."

"Animals are my friends and I don't eat my friends."

"Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?"

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

"A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff."

"If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?"

"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."

"The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity."

"Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up."

"Meow means woof in cat."

"If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked."

"Today as always, men fall into two groups: slaves and free men."