MARK TWAIN

"Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe."

"A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it."

"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to."

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

"The secret to getting ahead is getting started."

"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt."

"There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages."

"What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey."

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."

"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's."

"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"When angry, count four. When very angry, swear."

"In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them."

"Classic - a book which people praise and don't read."

"I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them."

"Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often."

"Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned."

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform."

"Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it."

"If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it."

"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also."

"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

"It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them."

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

"There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable."

"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."

"I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."

"Obscurity and a competence - that is the life that is best worth living."

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."

"To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with."

"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."

"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."

"Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason."

"It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."

"If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much."

"A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies."