Humor

"Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious."

"No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"

"Behind every smile there's teeth."

"If what one has to say is not better than silence, then one should keep silent."

"The soul never thinks without a mental picture."

"Look like barbie, Smoke like marley."

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

"I can resist everything except temptation."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence."

"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring."