Comedy

"If I talked I would become like any other comedian."

"Comedy aims at representing men as worse, Tragedy as better than in actual life."

"Lord, what fools these mortals be!"

"A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket."

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. I really hope no one misinterprets this quote as being about masturbation."

"Think about yourself at least once in your life otherwise you may miss the best comedy in this world."

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

"When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM."

"There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy."

"Comedy must be true to life."