"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!"

"I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation."

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

"Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn't help if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up."

"Poor empty pants with nobody inside them."

"I married my husband who is thirteen years older, so I will always be a trophy wife for him."