"If your man is a sports enthusiast, you may have to resign yourself to his spouting off in a monotone on a prize fight, football game or pennant race."

"One day, after practice, he came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder, and as I turned around, he sucker-punched me and relocated my nose to the other side of my face. What up, Mr. Drum Captain? How's your drumming going, bro? Played any arenas lately?"

"Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."

"The Very first moment I beheld him, my heart was irrevocably gone."

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

"Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love."